Well Mom, you knew that I’d have to post this one.

Happy Mother’s Day Mom!  You’ve the best mom for as long as I can remember.  From putting up with all my weird obsessions when I was a kid, fighting for me when I was sick in 8th grade, to wishing me well on my travels around the world, you’ve always been there.  Not only have you been there, you’ve full supported me in everything, and that’s the best thing a kid could ask for.

I remember in high school everyone wished their mom was as cool as mine, and I was never ashamed of you for being a cool mom - I loved it!  I remember you taking me and some buddies to our first Edgefest.  How many moms do that?

You’ve still got my back, and I’ll confess that I haven’t been the best son by making you wait two years to see me, but I look forward to catching up on quality time and hugs when I get back to the states this winter.

Sorry if this picture really embarrasses you, but I thought everyone should see the mom I know and love.

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The ship is (supposedly) fixed, and we head back out to sea very soon.  I was really looking forward to a summer in Japan, but it looks like I’ll have to settle for some pretty cool port visits instead.  This website’s proxy hasn’t been blocked from the ship’s LAN yet, so I’ll try and update as much as possible.  However, the ship has blocked uploading to flickr, so you’ll have to wait until I have a shore connection for photo updates.

Everyone hug your mom and say thanks.

Last week this little house in Oppama was full of people, conversations, time spent out on the deck, and good home-cooked food. Dad and Bryce were always here, and I never really had any time to myself. I didn’t mind that a bit. Now Dad’s back home and Bryce is on a missions trip to the Ukraine (please pray for the team’s safe return). I’ve had the place to myself all week and it’s been WAY to quiet. Anyone who knows me knows that me and being alone don’t go together. Maybe for a day, TOPS.

That feeling is compounded by the fact that the ship will be heading out again very shortly. The greatest amount of time spent in this house is already over, and I just moved in last October. It’s weird living in a house, knowing that you’ll still have it eight months from now, but knowing that out of that time you’ll probably spend less than a month actually home. It feels very temporary. One of my dreams since coming to Japan was to have a house here. Out of 4 years here I’ll have had a home for only 6 months. I wander through my spartanly furnished rooms and wonder what it would be like if I had more time to accumulate things, you know, really fill the place up. I wonder if I might get to know the neighbors better. I wonder if I could tell people what it’s like to live in a Japanese house in every season. I wonder if I’d have house parties and be a place where friends would pop in unexpected. When I look up at the Japanese light fixtures they don’t really feel like mine. They’re mine for a short time, but not long enough to call them mine.

A perfect example of this feeling can be summed by looking at the wall by my computer.  I put up a bunch of pictures that best caught memories or feelings.  I used some cheap tape to put them up and all winter they hung tight.  Now it’s getting more humid and they’re slowing falling off one by one.  I put them up, add more tape, but they keep falling. 
I guess everyone goes through a feeling of impermanence. I don’t feel like I’m ready to lay roots down anywhere just yet, but I expected so much more from having a place. The greatest thing this house has done is allow my friend to have a quiet place to get away from ship life, and give my dad a quiet place to rest when I wore him out seeing Japan.

Back when I started video in ‘03 there wasn’t a way to quickly and easily share what I did with others. Since then I’m sure everyone is aware of a little site called YouTube. I resurrected some of my old AFN tapes and added some more recent works (Read-a-thon and Alex Trebek visits Kitty Hawk) and put them up on my own YouTube site so anyone with a decent internet connection can have a peak. I’m going to try and remember to keep updating it as much as possible. I’ll also put a link in the sidebar so you can find it again.

Observation: Last week I noticed that slim to none of what I did was for myself, and rather I was just doing things that others asked me to do. I’m sure I’ve done this a lot, it was just the first time I looked backed on an entire span of time and thought, “Where was the me time?” Anyone else not getting their “me” time?

As I left my house this morning, I breathed deep the smell of a fresh rain.  It’s warming up and raining a little more frequently, so things around Oppama are turning green.  A small cherry blossom tree in the neighbor’s yard was a bright pink.  The rising sun provided the perfect spotlight.  All around me, dozens of different song birds were singing their unique songs.  It was one of those happy-to-be-alive moments.

Fast forward 30 minutes….

I arrive on base.  The rain clouds from earlier descend again.  The warm spring air is quickly chilled by a cold wind.  All the buildings look drab, like colors warn off after years of being next to the ocean.  The air is filled with the smell of cigarette smoke as hundreds of Sailors walk like zombies toward their ships.  Instead of song birds all I hear is the caw of crows as they circle the trash dumpsters.  Home sweet Kitty Hawk.

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On a lighter note, I’m really not depressed.  I just thought I’d like to paint that mental picture for you.  I’m actually enjoying my job almost as much as I enjoyed my job at AFN.  Well, AFN was MUCH better, but I’m enjoying it more than I have in the past year and a half.  I like being in charge of something because that means I can change broken processes.  Also, I’m back to video, which I LOVE and I work mostly with an Apple computer, so my stress level has gone way down.  I find myself working later hours, but liking it.  A much wiser man than me once said, “You’ll always be your own most critical boss.”

I’m really having a good time with all my Lighthouse buddies.  It’s easier to get through life with a strong Christian family.  I’ve felt engaged and strengthened as a Christian much more than any other Christian group I’ve been apart of.  The messages are hard, convicting, and freeing.  I’ve been thinking about recording Paul’s (the director) messages to make them available online.  They’re life-changing.

Also - Dad will be here in 9 days!  Can’t believe it’s happening so quickly!  I’ve been thinking about him coming for months now, using it as a happy thought to get me through the tough weeks, and now the time is almost here!  I still feel under prepared, although I’ve thought of a dozen or more places to go.  There’s that OCD trait showing up again.

As I pulled into my impossibly tiny parking lot today, a Japanese guy was finishing the wax job on his van. I would’ve been upset, but he was really nice about getting out of the way, and he had a surf board rack on top of his van. He’s actually a surfer/tour guide specializing in the Izu peninsula - a beautiful area I’ve been to twice (Ken - if you’re reading this - that’s where we went when you came to visit). He seems legit too. Here’s his website. We communicated well enough with his broken English and my broken Japanese, and soon he was showing me his house (which was about 10 feet away). He was really proud of his board collection and pizza oven. In addition to making at least two trips a month to Izu, he also has get together and cooks pizza. I’m really looking forward to that. This month one of his surfing trips falls between my two snowboarding trips, so I’m thinking about going. How’s that for why I love Japan? Surfing and snowboarding in the same month. Booya! Now I just gotta try and not hurt myself.

Funny observation: As I am writing this, the propane man just drove down my street. If you didn’t know any better you’d think this guy had ice cream, but in Japan when you hear music coming from a truck, he’s either peddling propane or sweet potatoes. Both look pretty dangerous - one’s pumping flammable fuel, the other has a fire going in the back of his truck to keep the potatoes warm. Also, I haven’t heard them here, but by the lighthouse there are guys who walk up and down the street at night chanting and banging wood together. Apparently it’s to remind you to turn off your heaters before sleeping. I love this country.

As I start pondering more and more my possible return to the Tulsa area, I’ve been poking around Flickr for what people are taking pictures of in the area. I stumbled upon Lost Tulsa and really felt saddened by the point this guy is making: Tulsa is a city full of rich history, but few are willing to take the steps to preserve it. It was the oil capital of the world for goodness sakes! I would really love to take a day and go photograph some interesting angles at Oral Roberts or go show Wooloroc through pictures. Sometimes the stuff of stunning photos is where you spent years trying to get away from.

I made the trek from base to the Lighthouse for the first time since last summer. Before I had a place off base, I’d make that trip on foot 2 to 3 times a week. I pumped up the familiar Ray Lamontagne “Trouble” CD and took in the sites and sounds of Blue Street Even the beckoning of the massagie girls didn’t seems so intrusive. There are still Christmas Lights in all the trees, and the streets stay fairly active well into the night - not something that can be said for anywhere I’ve grown up. Sometimes a stroll through memory lane makes me feel a little nostalgic - even if it is through this dingy, Americanized city. I wouldn’t have it any other way =)

At the lighthouse we’ve been going over the seven churches mentioned in Revelation 3.  Tonight we went over John’s letter to the church in Philadelphia (not where the 76ers play!).  Here’s what stuck out to me:

I know your deeds. See, I have placed before you an open door that no one can shut. I know that you have little strength, yet you have kept my word and have not denied my name.

-Rev. 3:8

First off, God knows everything we do.  That should instill a little bit of fear, like maybe we should correct how we’re living, but it should also comfort us to know that He knows what we’re going through.

I had a coworker come up to me the other day, and asked if I’d pray about his situation.  He’s kinda known as a player who’s not remorseful for his ways, and I asked him if he’d prayed about it.  He replied, “Well, I’m not anywhere near as good a person, plus I want to make sure God hears it.”  This is SO backwards.  I told him that I’m not any better than him, and that we’re all sinners.  I just said I’m a sinner who’s made peace with what I am.  I told him that God always hears him if he prays and that whatever his situation, God knows about it in the first place.  There are no secrets with God.  As nice as that all sounds when I post it here, I REALLY doubt he’ll be changing his ways.  Oh well, all in God’s timing.

Secondly, “See, I have placed before you an open door that no one can shut.”  That’s awesome to know that the door of salvation Jesus opened for us isn’t one that can ever swing closed.  He’s not saying, “I put the doorstop in, so you should be good.”  He’s saying, “I’ve taken the door clean off the hinges so there can never be anything blocking you from eternal life with me.”  That’s amazing.

Thirdly, someone brought up that just as Jesus opens some doors, some are shut and are meant to stay that way.  So many times people think they’re headed down the right path, just to find a shut and locked door.  We shouldn’t beat our heads against it until it opens, we should find our way back to His open doors.

Finally, “I know that you have little strength, yet you have kept my word and have not denied my name.”  Isn’t it great to know that if we stay the course and don’t deny Him He’s going to give us the strength to carry on?  Reliance on Him is the first thing we should all be focusing on this New Years.

A little less than a year ago, my brother introduced me to artist named Matisyahu. Since then I’ve been trying to listen to just about everything the guy puts out. The first song I heard, “King Without a Crown”, hit me so profoundly that I listened to it over and over again, just to soak up the awesome message. There’s not a lot of music that gets me truly emotional, but the first time I really listened to everything that was being said, I had that strange chill down my spine and my eyes teared up a bit.

I really love positive, God-centered lyrics, but I think the majority of Christian music lacks the new sound required to actually make society listen. I feel you have to reach lost people on their level, and to do that, you need a music that will get their attention and lyrics that will make them think. I really believe that the way to salvation for many of today’s disaffected youth is going to be through non-traditional bands like Matisyahu and P.O.D.

Matisyahu just came out with a new CD, and that’s what got me thinking about this. The CD is basically remixed versions of older tracks, but it’s powerful none the less. If you’re new to Matis, I recommend “Shake off the Dust…Arise!” or “Live at Stub’s”. I also downloaded a few of his music videos - “King Without a Crown” and “Youth.” Both use excellent imagery to just build upon Matisyahu’s profound message. Just in case you want to see a little bit about what I’m talking about, I’m going to finish off this post with the lyrics to “King Without a Crown.” I know he’s Jewish, but here’s praying that more people would come to a saving knowledge of God’s love for them through Jesus Christ because of his music.

See you're all that I have and you're all that I need
Each and every day I pray to get to know you please
Wanna to be close to you, yes I'm so hungry
You're like water for my soul when it gets thirsty
Without you there's no me
You're the air that I breathe
Say sometimes the world is dark and I just can't see
With these, demons surround all around to bring me down to negativity
But I believe, yes I believe, I said I believe
I'll stand on my own two feet
Won't be brought down on one knee
Fight with all of my might and get these demons to flee
Hashem's rays fire blaze burn bright and I believe
Hashem's rays fire blaze burn bright and I believe
Out of darkness comes light, twilight unto the heights
Crown Heights burnin' up all through till twilight
Said, thank you to my God, now I finally got it right
And I'll fight with all of my heart, and all a' my soul, and all a' my might

What's this feeling?
My love will rip a hole through da ceiling
Givin' myself to you now from the essence of my being
And i sing to my God songs of love and healing
I want Moshiach now, time we start revealing

Stripin away the layers and reveal your soul
Ya Gotta to give yourself up and then you become whole
You're a slave to yourself and you don't even know
You want to live the fast life but your brain moves slow
If you're trying to stay high, you're bound to stay low
You want God but you couldn't deflate your ego
You're already there then there's nowhere to go
You're cup's already full then its bound to overflow
If you're drowning in the water's and you can't stay afloat
Ask Hashem for mercy and he'll throw you a rope
You look for help from G-d you say he couldn't be found
Searching up to the sky and looking beneath the ground
Like a King without his Crown
Yes, you keep fallin' down
You really want to live but can't get rid of your frown
Tried to reach unto the heights and wound bound down on the ground
Given up your pride and the you heard a sound
Out of night comes day and out of day comes light
Nullified to the One like sunlight in a ray,
Makin' room for his love and a fire gone blaze
Makin' room for his love and a fire gone blaze

What's this feeling?
My love will rip a hole in the ceiling
Givin' myself to you from the essence of my being
Sing to my God all these songs of love and healing
Want Moshiach now so it's time we start revealing

As we all celebrate Christmas, let’s take some time out to remind ourselves why we celebrate Christmas: Jesus Christ’s birth. With all the shopping and attention paid to the secular Christmas things isn’t it time we remember that God gave His only Son so we could all live?

All it took was one simple email from a friend and a few tears while listening to “Silent Night” for me to remember all over again. If you’ve been overtaken by the holiday hype, take time out and listen to a Christian Christmas song and let the real reason for the season sink in.

I wish you all a blessed Christmas!